Children's Day...

Tomorrow is International Children's Day. After coming to Canada, I found that China had so many holidays. Once I asked some fellow students and they said they did not celebrate holidays such as Children's Day. And Pro.K said when he was a kid, he celebrated Children's Day on April 4. It seems that the June 1st International Children's Day is not that popular. Anyway, I like all kinds of holidays. 


When I was a child, I always dreamed to have an age of two digits. After I got a two-digit age, I dreamed to be 12, a round of years in Chinese culture. After being 12, I dreamed to go to university and live independently. I think I stopped hoping to grow up in my university years. Time always goes so slowly when you hope to grow up. However, it goes so fast when you want to keep as young as possible. How ironic it is!


Today was a pretty bad day, since I begun to write my term paper. Although I say I begun to write it, I still have not written a single word until now. To be honest, it should not be that hard. I replicate the paper of Pro.C, my supervisor, and use the same data and results of his project. And my nice supervisor told me how to write it in great details. However, I still hate it very much to tell the story. I really want to dig a hole, hide myself in it and never come out.NEVER COME OUT!!!

I believe that pursuing a PhD degree is just like having a battle with disappointment. Recently I constantly feel myself like a total failure. I never have such strong feelings before. My professional knowledge is super poor, my computer skill is poor, I don't know how to find a research topic, I don't know how to tell a story and so on. Moreover, I don't know how to do with my personal life. Everything that is so normal in others' eyes becomes so complicated in my eyes. To get married or not to get married, to work in Canada or go back home and so on and so on. As soon as I think about all of these issues, or even one of these issues, I just get terrible headache. Confucius says that people should settle down at the age of 30. Can I find the answers to all the questions above within 3 years? I hope so. Sigh...


Tomorrow is another day. I should give myself some courage to keep going. I should be OK...

Anyway, tomorrow will be Children's Day. It is a good excuse to be happy and laugh:)