Age...

The other day my silly bf made my age public information to all his friends on his QQ list. As soon as I found that, I asked him to delete it asap. He told me that many friends told him that they did not believe that I was that "old". He thought that may make me feel better. However, in my eyes, it was really not kind of compliment. Just like during the TA office hours, the students always asked me whether I was really a PhD rather than a MA or an undergraduate, which made me feel they doubted about my professional knowledge. 


Recently I am thinking that whether staying in school all the time and never working outside make me so childish. I guess when others say they don't believe my age, it is not because I look young, it is because my childish behaviors. I am thinking that sometimes people grow up because of things they experience but not because of their age. And like in physics, people need some "reference object" to get to know they really "move" in life. Such "reference objects" can be spouses, children, colleagues and so on. However, being at school for a long time, life does not seem to change at all. Go to class, work on homework, sleep as long as you want...Nothing changes. I always find my fellows who have working experience do a much better job than me and they appear more stable and mature. They know much better how to communicate with their supervisors and others. However, during the time when I was still afraid of my supervisor, I always fled as soon as I saw him if he did not see me. And since I thought the econ professor was tough, I did not want to take the front path and leave from the front door, which meant walking in front of him. A, my pretty nice fellow classmate, said I was childish and insisted I left from the front door. Yeah, I did what she said, but I walked so fast that I even forgot to say goodbye to the professor. A is a tough-minded and matured person in my eyes (haha, also very sexy!) I wish I could handle things as maturely as she does. 

But sometimes I do feel I am getting old. The other day I told Pro.K that I was too old. Of course he did not think so because of my small number of age compared with his. However, I do feel that I don't have a young heart as he does. And moreover, I am not energetic and passionate as he is towards life, especially towards work. Sometimes I and J guess the age of some professors. I guess one reason that they look much younger than they are is because they get great fun of what they are doing and find the things they are working on are interesting. 


From time to time, I see young students from the nearby language school. I can see many of the students try to make themselves look more mature than they are. Their appearance make me imagine what I would look like if I was working in the Big Four or other financial institutions. It is really a pity. One day they will know that they have to wear high heels. It is not because they like high heels while it is because they need to wear them to look professional at work and it is the rules of the firms. They will know that they need to use make up. It is not because make up is for grown up women while it is because old women need it to make the poor complexion better. They should really enjoy their time as a young girl. 

Anyway, I think life is just like a song. It has its own rhythm. We should live with the rhythm, and do all the things at their right time. Never try to postpone things or bring forward things from their right time.